False self-image

I’m starting to feel and notice of the benefits of healthy lifestyle, but still I’m a bit concerned about how slow this has been going. On the other hand I also start to feel a little bit more confident about myself, so this week I chose some pieces from my wardrobe which I haven’t worn for a while. I’m not saying those fit perfectly, but I enjoyed wearing them. No idea why, but I felt skinny - or at least skinnier. But this feeling lasted until I saw myself in the campus mirror.

To tell the truth this weight loss is hard for me because my weight has been fluctuating for 6 years, but this summer I reached my heaviest. (instead of stable 73kg I weighted almost 83kg) For a very long time I had no weight problems and when I started to gain notable amount of weight when I was 16 I didn’t care because I just didn’t believe that I could have gained that much. Every time I looked into the mirror I didn’t see the obvious, and I suppose many people are familiar with this. In my mind I have always been ‘skinny’ but the reality always hits when I step into a clothing store and try to find some decent pieces, but none of the fit. And here comes the mind game. I’ve been doing fine, eating healthy, working out for quite a time and I still have to be declared as a fat person.

I’m okay with that. But I wish I hadn’t had any weight loss, fat fighter past which I could always be compared to. However, I really don’t want to complain, because negative attitude never leads anywhere and I do enjoy wearing the pants which are getting loose. It looks funny, but feels amazing. (:


The Fat Girl said...

Instead of just seeing yourself as a fat person, see yourself as an overweight woman who's making major changes. Your actions are that of a healthy person, not a fat person. I know I'm one to talk, I always call myself fat, but I guess since I've been morbidly obese a good portion of my life, I knew I've always been that way. Dan hates it when I say the word fat. Now I'm only allowed to say it if I'm talking about the blog. :)

And congrats on those loose pants. :)