Weigh in

Weight: 80.6kg / 177.7lbs

I have been having some controversy with the scale but yesterday I bought the needed batteries so no more 'technical diffculties'. But have to admit as much as I happy for the weight loss (I worked for hard!) I was a bit disappointed when I saw the number. It is just I had been steady 73-75kg for years and last week the scale once even showed 83.9kg. Frightening for me. I've been feeling fine and I'm proud of myself that I made the decision to change my life and attitude but I just wish I wasn't self pitying myself all the summer so I wouldn't have gained the last 6-7 kg which now I have to get rid of. The whole thing would be much easier if I've done things differently. It hurts to realise how much I hurt myself with maintaining a very unhealthy lifestyle.

Last time I lost all the weight I started from 73kg and every new number gave me the courage to keep on doing what I was doing because the numbers were 'new', if you know what I mean. I think this is the main reason I feel some kind of disappointment and sadness. I know the 'method', I know what to expect. But I have to stop compare everything to that time. But the circumtances are so familiar, you really have no idea how much. I try to work on this issue in my mind.